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Just Ask Kippy
Is It Rude to Not Laugh at Dumb Jokes?
By Kippy Winston

Hi Kippy,

I work at a non-profit and have a co-worker who makes really dumb jokes. Like so dumb that when I hear them I just get angry on behalf of people who are actually funny. So dumb that I am embarrassed for all parties involved. My boss laughs…my reactions vary. The worst part is that this co-worker is really well-intentioned and unfailingly cheerful. Maybe this problem has to do with the fact that I kind of hate my job…? But I am beginning to find said co-worker’s jokes intolerable! What do I do? Fake laugh? Stay stiff-lipped? I feel like women are always expected to laugh at men’s jokes. Ugh!

From,

Not finding the funny (or the money…in the not-for-profit world)

Dear Not Finding the Funny (or the Money)–

First of all: extricate yourself from that Not-For-Profit! They are named that way for a reason…as neither your bank account nor your soul will prosper. Both will be trim and slim! Though the great Kate Moss once said, “Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels,” I always say your soul should be plump as a dump! (And if your bank is just as zaftig, va bene. It’s nice to not feel destitute, n’est pas?)

Allora, on to this unfunny drone. There is nothing as uncomfortable as feeling like you should laugh at something you really don’t find funny. There are many shades of this. In my younger and more vulnerable years, I dabbled in the improvisational arts and was often amazed at the knee-slappers in my troupe. Was I being rude for not laughing at every damn gag? Certainly not every scene was laugh-out-loud funny! I hoped I wasn’t being rude as a tood, but when everyone else fell over themselves with glee, part of me felt pressured to laugh along. I did so…secretly wondering if these fake laughs would lead to wrinkles or a shorter kippy-span. (That means “life span” for mortals!)

Another laughing conundrum: Currently, I’m sojourning in a far-off land of revolution where English is not the local patois. More than once I have laughed pretending to understand a joke…when in fact I have felt clueless in a corner! Not recommended. Feeling empty inside is never fun.

Then again, neither is playing the role of the unlaughing lady. Do you work with only men? Why do you think your boss laughs at these jokes? Do you make jokes too? I recall working in an endroit in which my sense of humor was not only unappreciated but misunderstood. Explaining kills the quip. (And not in that comedic-jargon “I killed!” way … ) Alors, what should you do? I have ruminated. Here is a combination of reactions I’d suggest trying.

1. The Ignore (keep typing, don’t move an unnecessary muscle)
2. Politely Deaf (“What did you say?” “Can’t hear you!” “Repetez-s’il vous plait!”)
3. “I don’t get it..” (escape to the Valley of Girls… men seem to like it when you live there!)
4. Two Can Play (this is when you match or one-up these duds of punch lines)
5. The Wan Swan (just smile wanly and continue to type)
6. The Curt Nod (acknowledge and then continue to type)
7. The Har Har (the laugh that means, “I know your joke is dumb, but I am doing you the courtesy of laughing for a small moment”)
8. The Knee Slap (slap your knee, give a smile and shake your head “no.” This is much like “The Har Har” but slightly crueler)
9. Tickle Me Elmo (Raise your arm up like you are hailing a cab, use your other arm to do a mime scratch on the exposed armpit. Then say, “I am tickling myself because your joke is so bad.” This is the cruelest. If your co-worker gets upset just say that it is a common gesticular response to bad jokes in Italia. It’s the truth. And didn’t Del Close say there is truth in comedy?)

Good luck little duck! And keep your chin high. Who knows? Maybe with a combination of these responses you’ll start laughing for real soon enough.

Kippy