Reality v. GOP
By Rose Surnow

Reality
I need to go to Planned Parenthood to get birth control because my periods are painful and irregular.

What The GOP hears
Feed me baby-killing potion so I can throw a pagan gangbang this weekend.

Reality
I don’t have health insurance and I want to get an AIDS test.

What The GOP hears
Planned Parenthood created AIDS in its underground disease lab run by Jews.

Reality
I need to get a mammogram every six months because breast cancer runs in my family.

What The GOP hears
Titties!

Reality
Women should be represented at the debate in Congress about the future of women’s health.

What The GOP hears
Waaaaah equal rights, waaaaah control over my body, waaaaah.

Reality
Women make up 50% of the work force and are rapidly becoming higher earners than their husbands.

What The GOP hears
Your penis is tiny and stupid.

Reality
I’m a teenager who was raped and I want to have an abortion.

What The GOP hears
I’m a prostitute and I hate America.

Credit: Agaton Strom

Rose Surnow is a funny Jew who writes for The Hairpin and Jezebel. Follow her fly tweets @rosesurnow