Forget that the actual definition of a chain gang involves convicted criminals repaying their debt to society by smashing rocks in the blazing sun, and instead imagine a chain of hilarious women connected through their chosen area of comedy. That’s our Chain Gang Q&A: a series of connected interviews snaking its way through the comedy world like a row of prisoners chained together on the side of the road in the blazing sun.
Really it’s more like a chain letter without all the hexes and pyramid schemes. This chain starts with ubiquitous talking head, writer, producer and lover of pandas, Bex Schwartz.
What are the three words your best friend would use to describe you?
Enthusiastic, loud, neurotic.
What was the last thing that made you laugh so hard you cried?
I laugh so hard I cry on nearly a daily basis, but for whatever reason all I can think about right now is when I was studying in London and my parents came to visit me and we went to the Victoria & Albert museum and they had room after room filled with fancy silverware in schmancypants display cases, and suddenly I started thinking what it would be like if all the silverware were able to talk to you as you walked through the museum, and if there were this one humble fork and the fork said, “I’m a fork. But not just any fork. I’m the best fork in the entire world.” And I laughed so hard that I started weeping and then the security guards asked me to leave the museum and wait for the rest of my family outside.
What’s the craziest idea you’ve ever had that came to fruition?
This one’s easy! Sometimes you get drunk the night that the marriage equality act passes in NYC and you decide to throw a giant event in Central Park where you provide free, customized marriages for same-sex couples and you give the couples their dream weddings with free flowers, champagne, cupcakes, photography and videography. And since you are an ordained minister, you perform three different ceremonies amidst the 24 weddings that happened that day. You could call that idea Pop Up Chapel. In fact, that’s just what we did.
What are you working on right now?
Professionally, I’m in pre-production on creating the on-air campaign for this year’s Do Something Awards on VH1. Vote for your favorite do-gooder celebs right here! I’m going to LA next week to shoot with our amazing hosts, whom you may recognize from the hit FOX comedy New Girl. I am also working on getting my cat to eat his wet food without me singing him a special song. Currently, he won’t eat unless I sing to him. I can’t really blame him; I write amazing songs to Panda Boo about how delicious his cat food is.
What song do you play when you want to pump yourself up?
Robyn, always Robyn. Usually I play “Dancing on My Own” to pump myself up, even though that is sort of a sad song about dancing on one’s own because the boy you like is kissing some other girl in the corner. But Robyn sings it so anthemically that it sort of makes you want to dance the hell out of your own. Also, that song just makes me feel better about life. Also, I love Robyn with all my heart and soul. Also, I keep dancing on my own.